A small and select assortment

of ideas, habits, poems, and discoveries that made my 2023

Hello, all —

Happy Solstice. Today the sun rose at 7:54am, and it will set at 4:20pm. I never really mind the abundant dark of November and December in Seattle, because I am a mildly depressive vampire hermit homebody. I like the way it slows everything down and makes it feel reasonable to get ready for bed at 8:30pm — something I want to do no matter the season, but in summer, it’s still broad daylight.

As of yesterday, I’ve wrapped up my teaching and podcast obligations for the year, and this morning I find myself with 2.5 entire hours to use however I want!!!!!!!! I’m going to spend it here, at my desk, writing to you, with Gilbert sleeping at my feet and the baseboard heater beside me, the two of them together making as much noise as a preschool classroom. What I want to write and share — briefly, briefly — are the discoveries, ideas, habits, and poems that most shaped my 2023. I hope you’ll find joy, solace, ease, and utility what follows, as I have.

I know your inboxes are crazily filled and your attention is requested from all corners. Thank you for the time you’ve spent with me this year.

Things I discovered in 2023 that made my life better

• Wrangler jeans. Though the Internet has myriad ways to tempt me, I cannot buy 200-dollar jeans. I also can’t deal with no-stretch denim. Growing up in Oklahoma, I have known of Wranglers for my entire life, but I’d thought they were only for men, and also WILDLY uncool. I had never considered them until I started teaching at Zapata Ranch and saw the (young, brilliant, all-female) wranglers there wearing them. I now own two pairs of the women’s style called “High Rise True Straight” and have gleefully abandoned most other pants. They’re comfortable, and they make my ass look so good that even I keep staring at it. Whenever mine fall apart, I’d like to try some of the super-high rise styles.

• Tiny Japanese rice wax candles. I understand they’re intended for meditation, but I bought them for journaling. Each candle has a burn time of fifteen to twenty minutes. They’re not inexpensive, but the way I journal, I can use a single candle over two or three days. I also bought a tiny precious candle holder for them, and I’m not sure how else one would burn them? (If you’re in the Seattle area, go buy them at Lucca.)

• Speaking of journaling: my friend Ben’s journaling prompts. The biggest thing to happen to me in 2023, aside from the baby. P.S. I’M STILL JOURNALING!

• Helen Rosner’s Roberto. You don’t need me to tell you about it, hopefully. Anyway, I’d rather let Helen do the describing: “Roberto is a soup. It (he?) was born during the winter, six or seven years ago, when I put together a quick dinner by sautéing some onion and garlic with a few links of spicy Italian sausage, dumping in a can of white beans and a can of crushed tomatoes, adding a few cups of chicken stock, and stirring in a fistful of torn kale. The result was good, but not quite good enough, so in went a flurry of grated Parmesan, for savory depth, and a shower of lemon juice, to lend some tart, shimmery brightness. Almost no individual element of this was original—beans and greens have been the stuff of dinner since beans and greens began—and yet the gestalt had something to it, something unexpectedly right. It was hearty, but not heavy; it was warming, but not soporific.” I use non-spicy Italian sausage, FWIW. Made a double batch just last night!

• Petite Knit knitting patterns. If you knit, you probably already know about this Danish pattern designer. If you knit and don’t know about this Danish pattern designer, I’m thrilled to introduce you. I made her Sunday Sweater this year and can’t wait to try her other patterns, too. A big thanks to writer and podcaster Lindsay Cameron Wilson for this find.

• Sanbitter + grapefruit Spindrift. I love cocktails with bitter elements — Campari, Aperol, amari of all kinds — and this non-alchoholic combination is more satisfying than any other I’ve tried. (Yes, I’ve had the various n/a Negroni products, Ghia, etc.) If you are a non-drinker or just trying to drink less alcohol, may I suggest you seek out some Sanbitter and a box of grapefruit Spindrift and live it UP.

Poems I read in 2023 that I am still thinking about

• “The Gate,” by Marie Howe, from her collection What the Living Do (and also the Poetry Foundation). I adored the entirety of What the Living Do, but this one I keep returning to:

• And from the newsletter Pome, this wintry one by fellow former Oklahoman Ron Padgett:

Ideas that changed the way I lived in 2023

• Generosity is the path to abundance. I first heard this phrase from my friend Ben, and I’m not sure where he got it. I define “generosity” not as money, but as time, attention, and care. It’s so simple, but it has radically reoriented the way I move the day.

• Everything is temporary, the bad and the good. I also sometimes phrase this as, Whatever I am feeling today, tomorrow will be different.

• Kindness is the only non-delusional response to the human condition. This one also came to me via Ben, but the Internet tells me it originated with that great sage of our time, George Saunders. It comes from an interview he did with Ezra Klein: gift link!

• Also from George Saunders, that whiz, with gratitude to the writer Alyssa Severin for bringing it to my attention: What I really think good writing does: It enlivens that part of us that actually believes we are in this world, right now, and that being here somehow matters.

I hope you too are finding ways to believe you are in this world, right now, and that your being here matters. Happy holidays, happy new year, and peace, please, peace.

M.