Investing in your newsletter was one of the very greatest gifts I have ever given myself and it makes me so pleased to support your amazing work! I look forward to reading every post!
Thank you for introducing me to Liana’s phenomenal work!
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Really?! This news made my month! Thank you so much, Molly (and Liana)! I will try hitting reply on the email and see if that makes its way back to you, but if that doesn’t work, please know that I tried!
I sent you a direct chat in the Substack Chat function thingie. If you are able to locate it and reply, that would be a good way to send me your mailing address. I don't see an email from you so far...
Lovely interview. I loved the exchange about how Finck starts with “ideas” rather than either narrative or pictures, and how she described her process.
Love you, love Liana, would love to send this to a new mom friend of mine in Toronto if I win one. All of the talk about gender dynamics in marriage and parenting makes me wordlessly nod my head and then also want to light something on fire.
Pia, my super-scientific methods -- closing my eyes and scrolling up and down the page -- have led me to choose you as a giveaway winner! Will message you --
This was a fab interview! Thanks for introducing me to Liana!! I’m about to have my second kid and my first is only 20 months, and I feel like I already forgot everything! Liana’s line about this to you re: June made me feel better about it :). I thought I would write a lot down the first time around but feeling a bit more motivated to this second time. Also, so cool to learn the deets on Ash’s job; I’m currently seeing the therapist at my Midwife Center and am so grateful they have that position in-house. Thanks for all you shared here, Molly! (and would love to get/excited to read How to Baby)
I resonate with so much of this conversation -- parenting a small human who demands/needs so much of my time, body sanity; learning to share the load; even wild, vivid dreaming of places. Thank you both for the peek at your processing!
Oh Molly. That was a good interview with Liana, and I ate every word with my morning toast and oats. But this struck me more than what she had to say, which was you: "I feel nostalgia very physically. Like an ache, a good ache. I love the feeling of nostalgia." That is so alien to me! I mean, the physical, absolutely yes, but the good ache, that's alien. I'm writing memoir right now--hoo boy, I got a story--and the number one thing I've gotten from it is giving myself grace, coming to terms with my awful, self-inflicted past, things that made me shrink back in horror even then. What I did and experienced were minor compared to many others. I've always known that, but feeling it has made me ache, and not in a good way. Of course, you may not have meant that at all...oh well...but that's what hit me.
Thank you for sharing this interview! I liked what you said about loving nostalgia and thats why you ended up as a memoirist. I hadn’t thought about that myself as to why I am drawn to reading memoirs.
I loved reading this. I am the sole breadwinner in my little (not so little? we have four kids) family and my husband is a stay at home dad. My job is extremely demanding and stressful; despite that, for all these years I was solely responsible for the meal planning/cooking/scheduling/food shopping/night feeding/nursing etc etc. It felt all the more heartbreaking because everyone around me was constantly clutching their pearls at how LUCKY I was to have this unicorn husband who, gasp!, spent time at home with his kids! My resentment, exhaustion and just outright fury was all internalized and felt like ungratefulness in the light of how others viewed my life and partnership with my husband. It's only been in the past 1.5 years, after we had our final baby, that my husband has started to really see the inequity and has made a huge effort to right the ship. As amazing as that has been, I often wonder if the gaping wound the first 7 years of motherhood created in our marriage is something we ultimately will be unable to overcome. I suppose only time, and a hefty dose of forgiveness, will tell.
I was in a very similar situation and we ended up going separate ways. My ex always says that the issue was that I resented being the breadwinner and at a conscious level I pushed back hard on that notion, using the argument that the issue in fact was that he had not actually chosen to be in the position of the full-time stay at home parent (which indeed he had not). Now reading what you wrote I can see how my resentment, exhaustion and fury could be perceived that way. I am glad you had this shift and that your husband is invested in making the effort, but it does take a lot of understanding, self-knowledge and communication to keep the partnership going. Hang in there.
Sounds like a great book and I would love to read it
Great interview, Molly. I always learn something new through your interview series.
Pick me! Pick me! Pretty please! Lol!
Investing in your newsletter was one of the very greatest gifts I have ever given myself and it makes me so pleased to support your amazing work! I look forward to reading every post!
Thank you for introducing me to Liana’s phenomenal work!
Rebecca, you're a giveaway winner! Will message you --
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Really?! This news made my month! Thank you so much, Molly (and Liana)! I will try hitting reply on the email and see if that makes its way back to you, but if that doesn’t work, please know that I tried!
I sent you a direct chat in the Substack Chat function thingie. If you are able to locate it and reply, that would be a good way to send me your mailing address. I don't see an email from you so far...
Lovely interview. I loved the exchange about how Finck starts with “ideas” rather than either narrative or pictures, and how she described her process.
What a wonderful interview ! As a new mom; it was a balm to the soul..
I would love a copy of her book.
Thanks for introducing me to another interesting thinker!
Love you, love Liana, would love to send this to a new mom friend of mine in Toronto if I win one. All of the talk about gender dynamics in marriage and parenting makes me wordlessly nod my head and then also want to light something on fire.
Pia, my super-scientific methods -- closing my eyes and scrolling up and down the page -- have led me to choose you as a giveaway winner! Will message you --
This was a fab interview! Thanks for introducing me to Liana!! I’m about to have my second kid and my first is only 20 months, and I feel like I already forgot everything! Liana’s line about this to you re: June made me feel better about it :). I thought I would write a lot down the first time around but feeling a bit more motivated to this second time. Also, so cool to learn the deets on Ash’s job; I’m currently seeing the therapist at my Midwife Center and am so grateful they have that position in-house. Thanks for all you shared here, Molly! (and would love to get/excited to read How to Baby)
I loved this conversation; thank you!
Liana is a treasure! Looking forward to reading her book.
I resonate with so much of this conversation -- parenting a small human who demands/needs so much of my time, body sanity; learning to share the load; even wild, vivid dreaming of places. Thank you both for the peek at your processing!
Oh Molly. That was a good interview with Liana, and I ate every word with my morning toast and oats. But this struck me more than what she had to say, which was you: "I feel nostalgia very physically. Like an ache, a good ache. I love the feeling of nostalgia." That is so alien to me! I mean, the physical, absolutely yes, but the good ache, that's alien. I'm writing memoir right now--hoo boy, I got a story--and the number one thing I've gotten from it is giving myself grace, coming to terms with my awful, self-inflicted past, things that made me shrink back in horror even then. What I did and experienced were minor compared to many others. I've always known that, but feeling it has made me ache, and not in a good way. Of course, you may not have meant that at all...oh well...but that's what hit me.
Thank you for sharing this interview! I liked what you said about loving nostalgia and thats why you ended up as a memoirist. I hadn’t thought about that myself as to why I am drawn to reading memoirs.
Thanks for sharing this conversation!
I loved reading this. I am the sole breadwinner in my little (not so little? we have four kids) family and my husband is a stay at home dad. My job is extremely demanding and stressful; despite that, for all these years I was solely responsible for the meal planning/cooking/scheduling/food shopping/night feeding/nursing etc etc. It felt all the more heartbreaking because everyone around me was constantly clutching their pearls at how LUCKY I was to have this unicorn husband who, gasp!, spent time at home with his kids! My resentment, exhaustion and just outright fury was all internalized and felt like ungratefulness in the light of how others viewed my life and partnership with my husband. It's only been in the past 1.5 years, after we had our final baby, that my husband has started to really see the inequity and has made a huge effort to right the ship. As amazing as that has been, I often wonder if the gaping wound the first 7 years of motherhood created in our marriage is something we ultimately will be unable to overcome. I suppose only time, and a hefty dose of forgiveness, will tell.
I was in a very similar situation and we ended up going separate ways. My ex always says that the issue was that I resented being the breadwinner and at a conscious level I pushed back hard on that notion, using the argument that the issue in fact was that he had not actually chosen to be in the position of the full-time stay at home parent (which indeed he had not). Now reading what you wrote I can see how my resentment, exhaustion and fury could be perceived that way. I am glad you had this shift and that your husband is invested in making the effort, but it does take a lot of understanding, self-knowledge and communication to keep the partnership going. Hang in there.